


a good man

by mm8



Category: Doctor Who, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Gen, May the Force Be With You
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:59:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8236919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: He didn't want a padawan.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [garnet_dragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/garnet_dragon/gifts).



"I am not a good man! And I'm not a bad man. I am not a hero, and I'm definitely not a president — and, no, I'm not an officer! You know what I am? I… Am… an idiot! With a box and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, learning."  
-12th Doctor, Death in Heaven, Doctor Who

******

 

"You've got to be kidding me!" the Doctor shouted at the hologram, his thick accent becoming aggregated as his voice grew louder. "You _must_ be joking!"

The hologram of Mace Windu did not look pleased. He wore a deep scowl and his arms were crossed over his chest. He glowered at the Doctor, sending him an defiate express.

"Oh God, you're _not_ kidding. Why are you not kidding?"

Windu glanced sidelong to the other hologram. The Doctor in turn, mirrored the movement

Master Yoda was a Jedi Master everyone admired. He was the epitome of the Order and the Force. No other Jedi could even touch the level of power that Yoda wielded. He was a very calm creature, something that annoyed the Doctor greatly. He didn't have time for calm or slow speeches. 

Master Yoda was casually leaning back in his seat with a small smile. "Trust us, you must. Good for you, will it be."

The Doctor audibly scoffed. "Oh come _on_! Is this because I refused to be on the High Council? That I refused to be _General_ for the war? Is that what it is? You're all getting me back because of her!?"

Windu actually fliched. _Flinched_. He'd never seen him show much emotion, if at all. "Doctor, you know that isn't the case. We--"

"You know it's true!" the Doctor gestured his finger toward Windu's hologram. "You bloody well know it! You flinched! I saw you flinch!"

Windu was about to start a fight, but Master Yoda interrupted, his voice was soft, but gentle. "Gentlemen, _please_."

Windu straightened his posture, resuming the appearance of the ideal Jedi. "The decision has been made, and is final Your new padawan will arrive here in one week. You are to return to Coruscant _immediately_. We look forward to see you again, Doctor. May the force be with you."

The Doctor felt the anger bubbling up in his chest. It was incredibly hard to suppress. He had a feeling that Master Yoda sensed his rage even though they were a galaxy away. It wasn't hard to guess his feelings; they were written all over his face. The Doctor waved his hand in dismissal. "May the Force be with you." He cut off the feed before either if them could exchange another bullshit pleasantries.

The Doctor balled up his fists. His whole body shook. 

_Bastards, bastards, the **bastards**_!"

He let out vile scream, grabbing the nearest object and hurtling it at the wall.

******

The Doctor was not a good Jedi. Terrible in fact. He chose not to meditate, he wasn't patient, and most certainly he'd formed _attachments_. He was everything the Jedi Order was against. Yet, here he was.

He'd make plant fall in an hour. Apparently he had been given special clearance ahead of the other ships. Most of the surrounding ships circling the atmosphere were dignitaries from around the system. They were probably irritated that some washed up Jedi butted ahead of them in the queue.

 

"A padawan…" he grumbled to himself as he danced around the console, flipping switches, pushing big, large buttons, and pulling levers. "A _padawan_!" He held down the tan buttons shaped like Jabba the Hut a little too long and his ship sort of tilted on its side. The Doctor clung to the console, and hitting at random buttons until the right one pressed, righting the TARDIS the correct way.

"Sorry, old girl." he said to no one in particular. Not your fault."

The Jedi glared at the hologram displaying the information on his new padawan. The basic information. Name, age, home world… She was a bit old to be a padawan. At her age, she should have been a Jedi Knight at the very least. The Order shouldn't have accepted her. _He_ certainly wouldn't have.

Her face was open and she had an easy sort of smile. She had high cheekbones and it seemed as though there was a mischievous look in her eyes. 

The Doctor already hated her.

******

The Jedi Temple Library was boring. He always hated going here even as a youngling. Everything was dusty and ancient. How was Jocasta Nu still around?

He was looking through old holocrons for advice about being a Master. It was killing him that he was seeking advice from… Urgh, he didn't want to think about longer than necessary.

The Chief Librarian was giving him dirty looks.Well, he was tossing holocrons left and right if they weren't useful. He wasn't getting any closer to figuring out what he wanted to find.

He had no idea how to be a Master. He hadn't been one in decades. These holocrons were no help at all.

It was times like these he wished River were still here.

"So whatcha doin'?" 

The Doctor jumped in his seat. He hadn't realized that someone had sat down beside him. Instinctively, he wanted to give them a hard stare or at the very least give them a smack on the head. 

Instead, the Doctor scowled at the intruder. His eyes widened a bit, a surprise recognition. 

There she was. Sitting right next to him.

Clara Oswin Oswald. His new apprentice.

She playfully waved at him. "Hello."

******

"Is Doctor your real name?"

"You're supposed to be in deep meditation."

"Is that a no then?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and sighed. "If you're talking that doesn't mean deep meditation, Clara. And you're supposed to be meditating for forty-eight hours straight, and it's only been… five minutes."

"Oh _c'mon_." Clara got out of his lotus position, and settled down across from the Doctor. "You're not even attempting to teach me now."

"Yes I am. You sit there for two days and I watch you while sitting. To be fair, I'm the one at the one at the short end of the stick here."

They were sitting outside in a rose garden on a retaining wall. The garden was part of the home he had been given when he returned to Coracant. The Doctor didn't want a bloody rose garden. In fact he hated roses _and_ gardens. Clara was dressed in loose clothing for the day. She was barefoot and swinging her legs. 

Clara gave him this _look_. "Why are you dodging such a simple question?"

"Why aren't you doing what I tell you to do?"

"Is it something embarrassing?" she asked, completely ignoring his question as she knocked her shoulder with his. "Is it Bob?"

"Bob's a good name," he defended. "What's wrong with Bob?"

Clara shrugged. "I dunno it's just… _Bob_. It's kind of bland, you know?" She smiled cheekily. "So is it Bob?"

" _No_ ," he said loudly, grinding his teeth. "I'm not telling you."

" _Ooooh_ , so Doctor _isn't_ your real name. Then--"

"I'm not telling you Clara!" he shouted. His voice must have taken his padawan by surprise since she had inched away from her, almost curling up in a ball. The Doctor scrubbed his face. " _Clara_... Not many know my name. I don't even think Master Windu knows it. It's personal--. The only two people who intentionally know my name, was my best friend and my wife and neither ended well."

"Wait, what? You have a _wife_?" Clara was clearly interested, sitting up straight and leaning toward him. "How did you have a wife? It's against--"

"The Jedi Order, I _know_ Clara. I never claimed to be a good man." Shaking his head, the Doctor told her, "Her name was River. She was wonderful. Smart, beautiful, a better Jedi than me hands down. She died. Right in front of me. It was all very heroic and saved a whole city. But… she's dead. Council hasn't been happy with many of my life choices, if we're getting intimate. Marrying River, refusing to be on the council, refusing to be part of this bloody war, almost becoming a dark force user--"

"Whoa!" Clara held up her hands. "Dark force user, really?"

The Doctor shrugged, looking away from her to stare at a rose brush. "We all make stupid decisions in our youth, especially when it is your best friend dragging you down the path. I'm not… I'm not a good man. I'm not a bad man or a hero. I'm an idiot really."

Clara gently placed her hand over his. "You're not an idiot. You're smart, and brilliant, and funny. You're _brave_ ," she empathized. "That's something I will never be."

The Doctor turned his hand upward, lacing their fingers together. He stared at their hands. Hers was so small compared to his own. Of course his were pale, veiny, and he had oddly long fingers. Clara's was smooth, and her skin a few shades darker than his. He felt like he should stop this. Whatever _this_ was or could become.

"I think you're brave," he whispered. The Doctor didn't catch her expression as he let go of her hand. Internally, it was great relief to him. 'Now go on, meditate padawan."

Clara laughed, jumping off the wall, walking backwards as she spoke, "Yes, Master Doctor."

He stared Clara down until she was comfortably back in the lotus position and silent.

It had been almost two months since he met Clara. He still didn't think that he was the master she needed. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, the Force did work in mysterious ways.


End file.
